Getting Started
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Arguments about who is allowed to use which medium, when and for how long – this probably happens in every family. Use the parents' evening to convey those conflicts are quite normal in families. Wherever different characters meet, friction arises that can end in conflict. Show parents that conflicts over media use are not unusual.
With your parents' evening, also offer space for exchange and a platform to be able to talk openly about these conflicts and difficulties. Show ways in which these conflicts can be resolved or reduced. Topics in this module:
- talk openly about difficulties and challenges in media education
- address and resolve conflicts together
Learn More
Challenges and difficulties with media use in the family
"Why don't you put down your mobile phone?", "You watch far too much TV!", "These games are far too violent." Many parents have probably already said one of these sentences to their child.
In a study in Mexico, one third of the parents said that they get into conflict with their children about mobile phone use once a day. An additional 40% argue about this issue once a week. Screen time and mobile phone use are among the top conflict topics between parents and children. Only about bedtime and housework are disagreements more frequent (all info on the study: The New Normal: Parents, Teens and Mobile Devices in Mexico). The study shows that these difficulties are normal. And you should also tell the parents this in the parents' evening. Offer them a platform for exchange.
Encourage conversations, ask how mobile phone or television use is regulated in the family and actively involve the parents. Important: there is no mutual evaluation or condemnation. Use lines like: This is the solution in family XY, how do the others do it?, to respect individual choices. The discussions serve to show that other parents are also in similar situations and medially conflicts are normal.
Approaches to solving conflicts
Use the openness and the exchange in the parents' evening to work out solutions for conflicts together. Help the parents to resolve conflicts confidently. Point out possible solutions:
Change of perspective
Basically, a dispute involves at least two people - and thus always two perspectives on the respective situation. Parents should try to change perspectives and also analyse their own behaviour. Those who understand their counterpart and have reflected on their own behaviour are more likely to be able to have an honest conversation and find joint approaches to a solution.
Remain objective
Insults and injuries are detrimental to conflict resolution and can have far-reaching consequences even beyond the conflict. Even in a conflict, it is advisable to remain calm and, if necessary, to speak again calmly at a later time. Also, formulate I-messages instead of accusations in the form of you. Watch the video Improving Communications Skills for tips on how to do this.
Finding a solution together
To resolve the conflict, both parties should also be willing to find a middle ground. Agreements on media behaviour in the family can be a way to solve recurring conflicts in the long term. The approach to such an agreement is explained in the document Family Media Agreement. A template for an agreement is the Common Sense Media Agreement.
Develop your own solution strategies
In general, parents should be encouraged to find individual solutions for their family and to, for example, include them in agreements because every family is different. Strategies to resolve conflicts are listed in the article Family Arguments. We have also compiled Top 5 Tips to Avoid Media Conflicts in our resources. Help parents adapt these strategies and tips to their own needs.
Exercise
Here you can see some typical questions that parents can ask during a parents' evening. Of course, depending on the topic of the parents' evening.
Think about what answer you could give to the parents. Where could you expand your knowledge or that of the parents to be able to answer the questions satisfactorily?
Don't worry, this course is the basic course. You don't have to be able to answer all the questions right away. Find out the points you want to know more about and deepen your knowledge in our thematic courses.
- When is my child ready for a technical device?
- At what age should we allow the use of apps like Whats App, TikTok or Snapchat?
- My child watches too much TV, what can I do?
- How do I protect my child from dangers on the Internet?
- Is my child addicted to computer games?
- What can I do if my child is a victim of cyberbullying?
- My child spends too much time online! - what does it do there?
Suggested solutions: a) Our module on "Media Habits" offers insight into children's perception of media, b) The module "Social Media & Instant Massaging" offers answers, c) Perhaps a media contract helps to better regulate usage times, d) Here we recommend our module "Internet & Big Data", e) The module "Games & Creative Media Work" deals with online games and their effects, f) Cyberbullying as a form of problematic online communication is examined in more detail in the module "Social Media & Instant Massaging", g) This module offers solutions - conversations, exchange, using media together can be approaches.
Also test your knowledge in the Are You a Social Media-Savvy Parent? quiz.
What you learn in this course
- You are able to identify common difficulties and challenges during parents' evenings.
- You are able to show parents different approaches to solutions.
- You are able to apply solution strategies to relieve the situation and develop own solution strategies.
- You will be able to summarise the 10 most important questions parents ask about (digital) media.
Get ready: Tips for MediaParent consultants
Important questions parents might ask regarding (digital) media education.
During your parents' evening, the parents begin to exchange ideas and start a conversation. Central questions that move many parents come up. Do you feel confident enough to answer them on the spot and provide initial support, or do you make a note of the most important concerns so that you can send the parents detailed materials after the event? Regardless of which option you choose, respond to the parents' questions as best as you can - a reference to another resource or counselling services can also be a help.
The article Answering top questions from today's parents can be an orientation for typical questions from parents and gives direct answers.
Also have recommendations for websites ready to give to parents. Common Sense Media, for example, combines study results, tips and articles on the topic of media. Also www.internetmatters.org or the website www.childnet.com gives parents tips, guidelines and addresses current topics. Know these and more useful sites to share with parents for further information.
Resources
Links
The New Normal: Parents, Teens and Mobile Devices in Mexico
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/research/report/2019_thenewnormalmexico-final-release_eng-092519_web.pdf
Family Media Agreement
https://s3.amazonaws.com/kajabi-storefronts-production/sites/24278/themes/451091/downloads/3azuxAHNQ36VU2TLmuaF_Family_Media_Agreement.pdf
Common Sense Media Agreement
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/featured-content/files/common_sense_family_media_agreement.pdf